FOOTY FAIR

Ray Hudson’s Top 10 Quotes

2015-02-03T12:00:00.000-05:00

I am a huge fan of Ray Hudson and it has been a while seen I have written something about the best football commentator on the planet.

After looking at who should I feature in this weekly piece, what better way to start the month that celebrates love and affection than to give some love to the man who makes beIN Sports his home and uses his vocal prowess to enchant the airwaves.

"Like a happily married couple, Messi washes, Kun Aguero dries." (Argentina vs. Sweden, February 2012)

"Milito uses the old Jedi mind trick on them. Fabulous. Picks his spot, finds the target. Laser beam. Darth Vader death ray hit again…" (Barcelona vs. Real Zaragoza, December 2007)

"He better check his pulse as well, the doctor, because this game has enough tranquilizers in it to put a sperm whale to sleep…" (Hertha Berlin vs. Bayern Munich, December 2007)

“Barcelona were like a three pound chicken trying to lay a four pound egg …. Just constipated in front of goal.” (Villareal vs. Barcelona, April 2007)

“I’m telling you man, this kid could be the best thing on two legs since Sophia Loren” - Comparing former Barcelona player, Bojan Krkic to the Italian actress.

"Victor again does his impersonation of the Exxon and spills it." (Racing vs. Barcelona, 11 March 2012)

"Llorente has an absolutely impossible task to hit that first time. Well, he just threw a pint glass into a shot glass. Astonishing." (Athletic Bilbao vs. Manchester United, 15 March 2012)

“Messi…the Mozart of our game. The rest? Banjo players.” - Describing Messi’s play.

"He's a competitor. . . . He'd stab his grandmother in the eyes just for another bowl of porridge." - Describing DC United midfielder Dema Kovalenko

"Without penetration, it's just masturbation, and right now, we're playing with ourselves." - Discussing DC United inability to score goals when he was coaching them

10 Most Iconic Commentating Moments in Football

2014-10-07T09:00:00.000-04:00

When you sit down to watch a football match on your TV, part of the enjoyment comes from listening to the commentators calling the game. Some are dull and boring, but others bring the match to life.

When something spectacular happens that has them lose their marbles you have all you need not only for an incredible football moment but also one of the greatest commentating moments in sports in general. Sometimes the games stay in our memory more from the call than the actual moment of the game.

Here are ten of the most iconic commentating calls in football.

Stan Collymore – Zlatan Ibrahimovic goal vs England (2012-13)

Stan Collymore completely loses his mind when he sees Ibrahimovic score one of the most incredible goals ever scored. Considering it was against England makes the call even more incredible.

Gary Neville – Fernando Torres vs Barcelona (2011-12)

Neville’s call is a mix of orgasm and pain; the lack of seeing Torres scoring big goals for Chelsea and then watching this key goal would drive even the more calm man into a painful ecstasy.

Kenmeth Wolstenholme – Sir Geoff Hurst vs West Germany (1966 World Cup)

The call is iconic for the moment it represented. England had just won the World Cup on home soil. An incredible achievement that the commentator just added to it by being as controlled as he could possibly be.

John Aldridge – Dirk Kuyt vs Manchester United (2011-12)

One of the most passionate calls I have ever heard. John Aldridge just made an incredibly important goal and even bigger moment that it could possibly be. This call will for sure be one of Liverpool fans favorite.

Martin Tyler – Sergio Aguero vs QPR (2011-12)

He sounds like he just got stabbed in the back with a 10 inch knife….Aguerrroooooooo

I know the goal stunned everyone from coast to coast from the smallest to the largest country in the world. Anybody watching that game was either speechless after that goal or had no voice left.

Barry Davies – Francis Lee vs Manchester City (1974-75)

The first couple of goals Barry Davies was very subdued but when Lee scored he broke out of his shell with one iconic call. “Look at his face”, something Derby County fans will never forget, the goal and Lee’s face.

Jonathan Pearce – Teddy Sheringham vs Netherlands (Euro 1996)

Pearce has some incredible calls during this game, but the one following the Sheringham goal is just phenomenal.

Clive Tyldesley – Ole Gunnar Solskjaer vs Bayern Munich (1998-99)

United trailing Bayern Munich in the Champions League final with only extra time left to be played, Tyldesley says the following: “Can Manchester United score? They always score”. His words could not be more prophetic; United would score two goals and win the trophy.

Andy Gray – Steven Gerrard vs Olympiakos (2004-05)

I am not sure what is more incredible, the Gerrard goal or the call by Andy Gray. I am tempted to say that the call complements the incredible goal. A match made in football heaven.

Ray Hudson – Lionel Messi vs The World

A list like this could not be put together without Ray Hudson calling a Messi play. What better than that, only a compilation of Ray Hudson calling several Messi plays.

New Camera Technology Brings Football to Life

2014-09-27T06:00:00.000-04:00

Television plays a huge role in the way sporting events will be viewed and enjoyed in the years to come. High Definition saw a huge rise and development in large part due to sports, and even the beginning of 3D broadcast was pushed forward due to the demand put in place by sports fans.

TV broadcasters are always looking at ways to push the envelope and give the home viewers a unique perspective of the game, and perhaps we have been given a glimpse at the future of football broadcast already.

Earlier in the week Ajax played Feyenoord and won 1-0 in what is one of the most intense rivalries in Dutch football, but the story was not the game or the result but rather the cameras used to broadcast the game to the home viewers. The game was recorded using a new revolutionary camera system called MOVI, which is believed to be worth 20,000 euros according to Dutch website AD.NL. The system allows the camera operators to record footage using sensors and motors while keeping the camera stable but moving at a very fast pace.

Here is a sample of the footage:

Only certain parts of the game were recorded using this new technology. Right now is not possible to record the match using this camera since it would require a camera man to be on the field of play, but perhaps in the future a solution can be found to surpass this obstacle.

Here is some more footage but from inside the control booth.

If this is the future of football on TV, I am getting myself a much larger TV for my living room.

10 Brands That Should Hire Ray Hudson to Promote Them

2014-08-19T09:00:00.000-04:00

For those of us in North America, the voice of Ray Hudson is synonymous with football. Who hasn’t watched a game where the witty analyst just holds your attention to the screen with some of the most incredible verbal poetry?

He is a poet that loves football, and when art meets art you are left with some masterpieces. I am a huge fan of his, and to be honest I would watch pain dry if he was color commentating on it. When I first saw the new Dairy Queen Blizzard commercial with Ray Hudson in a both calling it like if it was a football game I was floored.

Seeing Ray Hudson doing a commercial for Dairy Queen inspired me to put together a list of 10 products that would have an increase in sales, if they were endorsed by Ray Hudson.

Vitamin Water

When he is in the studio commentating on the games I am sure his mouth gets dry and he needs something to wet his vocal chords. What better product than Vitamin Water. One could argue that perhaps all that Ray needs is water, but considering how much energy he is burning when calling a Barcelona vs Real Madrid match he needs something more than just water. Vitamin Water would be the perfect brand to give Ray a call and get him on the payroll.

Halls

Ray is a man who depends on his voice to be who he is, and Halls is in the business of helping people with their throat problems. This is a match made in vocal heaven. Halls needs to get on the phone ASAP and call Ray’s agent, he would be the perfect person to lead their campaign. Plus I am sure Ray has had one or two Halls in his day, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to have the voice he currently has.

Best Buy

A huge organization like Best Buy need someone who can resonate with the young, internet surfing crowed, and that person is Ray Hudson. Most sports fan have streamed live events before and if you are looking at a laptop to help you with your sporting needs who better person to influence your decision on where to buy it than Ray Hudson. The commercials could be legendary and I am sure the sale of electronics would increase with Ray Hudson as the face of their new marketing campaign.

Voltaren

He spends countless hours sitting down and watching football, this could have damaging effects not only on Ray Hudson’s back but also on the backs of many of us who spend more hours sitting watching games than doing outdoor activities. Voltaren would be a product that would resonate well to fans and also to him. We have all had that nagging pain that just doesn’t seem to go away, and I am not talking about the wife. Voltaren can help, and Ray Hudson could help them relieve many from that kind of pain by being their product spokesman.

Miller Genuine Draft

Not the most popular beer among football fans in North America, but MGD is without a doubt one of the best beers in the market, as far as I am concerned. They don’t have the reach of a Stella, Carlsberg or even Heineken in the football fan market, but that could change with the addition of Ray Hudson as their front man. Ray Hudson has an incredible appeal to the viewer, he could probably endorse Kool Aid in Guyana and it would be successful. He could really help MGD reach a new audience and become of the beer of choices for footy fans in North America.

Volkswagen

There are two things in this world that you can be sure that are 100% guarantees of success, German engineering and Ray Hudson calling a football game. Why not combine both and have Ray Hudson endorse the new car being released by VW. It would be way better and more fun to watch that those stupid Das Auto commercials that they currently have. It is like they signed a cousin of Goldmember to do that thing. That doesn’t make me want to buy a VW makes me want to drive away.

Adidas

Every public figure needs a clothing endorsement. Ray Hudson is a man of the masses and reaches out to millions on a weekly basis. I know Adidas has Messi, but Ray is the Messi of the airwaves and a perfect person to be covered in Adidas head to toe. This move would push their brand to the next level. Ladies love a men in some cool threads, and if he has a Blizzard in his hand even better.

Ray Ban

This could be an opportunity for Ray Ban to release a Ray Hudson Ray Ban special edition sun glasses. They could call it RAY RAY. Perfect for that sunny day, when you have to take your kid to a football game and you need not only to look cool but responsible. Ray Hudson Ray Ban’s would give you immediate football credibility and it would make you look like you have played this game all your life, even if the truth is that you don’t even like it.

T.G.I. Friday’s

Everybody loves to eat, and footy fans are no different. Ray Hudson looks like a man who also enjoys a good meal, so what needs to happen is to bring these two forces together. T.G.I. Friday’s would be the perfect choice, since it appeals to all age groups as well as to sports fan. Classy, but not overpriced, they would be the perfect establishment to use Ray Hudson to promote their franchises. They could even name a dish after him, the Ray Hudson Orgasmic Nacho Platter. Who could refuse ordering that dish? Not me, I would be getting myself one of those at every chance I got.

MLS

I know he is currently working with beIN Sports, but if there was a way for him to call MLS games I believe the league would grow beyond belief. MLS is not a bad league to watch, but the commentators are nearly comatose and are some of the most uninspiring, self-righteous and uninformed people I have ever seen. If you want to torture me, make me listen to some of those guys and I will confess to any crime you want me to. I am forced some of the times to just mute the TV, because my ears are bleeding from the nonsense I have to listen to. You bring Ray Hudson into this picture and people in Asia would be getting up at 3am to watch Toronto FC play the SJ Earthquakes. That is the kind of impact he can have on the viewer. He is like audio crack, you can just try it and walk away, and once you do you are hooked.

Best 15 Quotes in World Football

2014-06-23T17:00:00.000-04:00

Football is often played outside the white lines and when that happens we get some of the best quotes out of players and managers.

Let's take a look at football's 15 best and strangest quotes.

15 - "Chile has three options, they could win or they could lose." - Kevin Keegan

14 - "I couldn't settle in Italy, it was like living in a foreign country." - Ian Rush

13 - "Sometimes in football you have to score goals." - Thierry Henry

12 - " I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league." Mark Viduca

11 - " We didn't underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought. " - Bobby Robson

10 - " We must have had 99 percent of the game. It was the other three percent that cost us the match." - Rudd Gullit

9 - Raul, man, he is like a Twinkie. He would survive a nuclear war." - Ray Hudson

8 - " That's great, tell him he is Pele and get him back on." - John Lambie responds to the trainer when he tells him that one of his players has a concussion

7 - " Football is a more beautiful game in high definition." - Jose Mourinho

6 - " My mother thinks i am the best. I was raised to always believe what my mother tells me." - Diego Maradona

5 - " Like a happily married couple, Messi washes, Kun Aguero dries." - Ray Hudson

4 - " I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona." Mark Draper

3 - " Pressure? What pressure? Pressure is poor people in the world trying to feed their families. Working from dawn till dust, just to feed their young. There is no pressure in football." - Jose Mourinho

2 - "Victor again does his impersonation of the Exxon and spills it." - Ray Hudson

1- " Messi scores a goal and celebrates. Cristiano scores a goal and poses like he is in a shampoo commercial." - Diego Maradona